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On her Majesty's Secret Service...

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On her Majesty's Secret Service...

Part 1 of 3

"You have done well Agent Doubt, considerably beyond my expectations. I am proud of you."

"If you say so Agent 001" replied the strappy young agent as he followed his mentor down the hall at MI6 headquarters. He had just returned from an infiltration mission in North Korea and the risks he took to gain the nuclear plans were not in vain. Today, he is being re-assigned to another department of MI6, something that Agent 001 said to be "so secret that only a dozen men in the force know exactly what it is." 

"Tush, don't be so modest! This is a promotion! You're moving up the spy ladder! One day, you'll be knighted by her Majesty in recognition for you devotion to this nation."

"If I'm in this service for that long. Between you and me Agent 001, I'm finding the spy life rather monotonous after these few years, it isn't as exciting as I thought that it would be. Were it up to me, I'd resign and leave without so much as battin an eye lid if I wasn't bound by contract for another month or so."

Agent 001 smiled and scoffed a little,

"If you find this boring, wait till you get counter staff duty."

Agent Doubt shrugged his shoulders indifferently, his green eyes fixed on some point in the middle distance. Agent 001 shook his head and continued walking forward. This was the reason he requested that Agent Doubt to this division, it was a last chance to spark at least SOME interest in the lad, or they would loose a good spy, a rare breed among the population needless to say. Of course, this had the potential to go really REALLY bad and have another 'you are one of them' moments like with the poor Ginger he had last week. The gadgets division better hurry up with that brainwashed  detector...

"Urm... Agent 001?"

"Yes? Thomas?"

"Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Of course I do! I know this place like the back of my*thud*"

Agent 001 staggered back a little as he rubbed his forehead, having turned right into a wall where he supposed there was a corridor.

<This will take a while...> thought Agent Doubt to himself.
-------------------------------
"Are you still sure?" asked Agent Doubt as they rounded the final corner and arrive at a steel door, resplendent with the 'works' of spy security, biometric scanners, voice recognition, passcode, a key board...

Wait, a keyboard?

"You'll be given the appropriate codes later, the system already has your scans." said 001 as he strode over to the scanners on the door's right, the electronic devices buzzing to life as they scanned and shone their red laser light over his thumb, eye and Tongue. After briefly typing the nine(or was it eight?) digit passcode, he turned to the keyboard, cracked his finger and began to play "I Vow to Thee My country" while singing along. It was in tune for the most part of it, but anyone who had heard Agent 001 sing would wish they hadn't. Playing the final chord on the keyboard, he took out a small nickel plated key, showed it to Agent Doubt with a slight flourish, and put it into the keyhole.

"Now Agent Doubt, what I'm about to show you is absolutely top secret, only the best are shown here, and sometimes even the best have problems dealing with this. Now promise me that you will not 

1. Panic
2. Scream and Yell
3. Both of the above 
4. Start going "he's one of them'"

"One of who?"

"We'll get to that in a moment."

Tuning the key in the lock, Agent 001 opened the door and pushed the young agent in first before him.

<This will be fun> he thought.

Beyond the door was merely an extension of the corridor before, the whitewashed Walls and metallic door identical with the rest of headquarters. In fact, apart from the Pokemon running all over the place, one couldn't tell the difference.

"Wha...Wha...What is all this?"

"30 seconds trigger negative, do the necessary paperwork." said Agent 001 into his watch before he placed his reassuring hand on Agent Doubt's shoulders.

"This my friend is the Pokeuman division of MI6."

"Poke...human?"

"Pokeuman, humans who turned into Pokemon. I'd love to tell you their story...it's so extremely fascinating..."

"There'll be time a plenty to tell 'em stories English, but now the biggest problem is that Pokextinction is on the move again and..."

"WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT!!!!!"

Agent 001 promptly smacked the rookie's head,

"Didn't I tell you not to scream or yell? Anyway, this is the head of this division, code name 'Kitsune', a ninetales."

"Plea-sha."

The cream coloured fox held up its paw for Agent Doubt to shake, which he did with a fair amount of caution and bewilderment. Agent Doubt, needless to say, was giddy with confusion and felt he needed either a quick sherry, a comfy chair or an explanation, perhaps all three.

"I understand that this is rather too much in too little a time, but I'm afraid that you'll have to wait for any further explanation, because if I'm not wrong, you have a briefing in 56 seconds." said Agent 001 as he looked down at his watch. The ninetales nodded and prodded Agent Doubts leg, taking off down the corridor as soon as he managed to get the agent's attention. Not losing his wit completely, he ran after the nine tailed fox as they headed down the corridor. Agent 001 looked on and chuckled as he walked after them, his 30 minute fast watch set back to GMT.

"Oh how I love messing with his mind."
--------------------------------
"We're early..." said Agent Kitsune as he sat down at the desk- about as well as a quadruped fox can- and looked at the holographic clock that shimmered in front of Agent Doubt.

"Of course you are," said Agent 001 with a smile," better early than late."

Agent Kitsune shook his head and grinned a foxy grin,

"And better late than never. Anyway, since Agent 001 was so kind as to keep us ahead of schedule, I believe an explanation is in order."

Agent Doubt nodded dumbly as he took a seat in front of the ninetails, still mentally numb from this sudden 'revelation' of sorts. Pokemon shouldn't exist, much less the occurrence of humans turning into one!

"To cut the long story short, Pokemon did exist, humans came along, civil war, humans have their memories wiped and the Pokemon have long gone to another dimension where they are presumably living in rainbow coloured clouds and in perfect  harmony as we speak. Do you follow?"

"No..."

"Good, that doesn't matter. What matters is that we DO exist, that's all you need to know. Anyway, I belong to an organisation called Pokeumans, basically the descendants of the original Pokemon. Please don't ask me to go into the details, I hate biology."

Agent Doubt swallowed the question just as it formed in his mouth.

"Good, you remember your training well. So the problem here is this..."

Pressing a paw on one of the many keys on a screen, a holographic image of a...weird bipedal purple cat-like creature appeared where the clock was.

"This is Mr X, head of Pokextinction. His aim is unknown, but his actions speak louder than anything he would ever say. He has kidnapped, brainwashed and killed both Pokeumans and humans for the last 100 years or so, and his organisation is getting stronger everyday. This..."

Another key and a image of a cuter pink floating cat appeared,

"Is Mew, the only original Pokemon left in the world. He's head of Pokeumans. For the last 100 years, Pokeumans and Pokextinction have been at logger heads, and this has posed a national threat."

Pressing another button, a holographic globe appeared,

"Pokextinction have bases all over the world in every nation and continent except for one..."

Pressing more keys, the map zoomed in on the Bristish Isles,five green friendly looking dots blinked on the map.

"Pokeumans, however, have five bases. We are the only nation in the world to be free of Pokextinction within the country."

"Well," added Agent 001 ," Not quite exactly... You see, Pokextinction have begun to pose a threat to national security. There have been a spate of kidnappings and disappearances all over the nation, and when we investigate these cases, we stumbled upon..."

"York base, the White Rose base."

Zooming in once again, a real time picture of the forests near York coming onto the screen.

"It was a rather interesting accident, when Agent Infides was breaking up with his girl friend, she took off the humanising ring instead of their engagement ring and returned to her Gotherita form. After a bloody long meeting with the defence minister, it was decided that MI6 would collaborate with Pokeumans to counter Pokextinction and keep Britain free from Mr X's grasp."

In so far, this made as much sense as Bolton Wonderers* winning the Premiere League to Agent Doubt, and the more he listened, the more incredulous it sounded. And by the time Agent Kitsune had finished, Agent Doubt was-needless to say- doubtful.

"I mean no disrespect to you both, but I'm just having a hard time believing you two. Come on... Pokemon running all over the place? I think I'd better stop that brand of sherry I've been..."

"You'd better believe it!" growled a malicious voice from behind as it grabbed Agent Doubt's head and slammed it against the adjacent wall. Instantly, Agent Doubt's training kicked in and he attempted to elbow his aggressor in the stomach. Much to his surprise and pain, his elbow met with a hard surface, bruising the well aimed elbow.

"Agent Havoc! Stop this at once!" yelled and growled the Ninetails threateningly.

"Actually don't stop, I'm quite enjoying it..." chuckled Agent 001 as he reached for an imaginary martini.

"Havoc!" growled Agent Kitsune one more time before Agent Doubt's attacker ceased.

"As ya command boss." replied the agent in a strong Yorkshire accent. Agent Doubt, now free from his attacker's grasp, lunged at him and tackled him to the ground.

"Should I stop him?" asked Agent 001.

"Actually, let them wrestle it out, they'll be paired for this mission anyway, might as well let them know each other better."

"HWHAT!!!" yelled both man and Pokeuman as they stopped wrestling. By this time, Agent Doubt managed to get a proper look at his aggressor. No more than 4 feet tall, his attacker/future partner was a blue bipedal turtle, resplendent with brown shell and furry tail-if turtles ever had furry tails-that extended from his spine somewhere in his shell. His ears, like fluffy quill pens, decked his head and gave him an imposing look. Almost at once, Agent Doubt remembered what Pokemon this was, after all, it was his favourite.

"You're...a wartortle?"

"Ya, and dun be messin up that name of mine ya hear? It's Agent Havoc, the best damn wartortle there is OW!"

Agent Kitsune had decided to give Agent Havoc a proper whack in the head with his paw, probably needing to reign in this particular agent.

"What's that for?"

"Watch that ruddy mouth of yours, before you shoot yourself in the foot! Now SIT DOWN!"

Both Agents obliged and sat down, neither party giving a friendly smile.

"It's time." added Agent 001 as he pointed to his watch. Agent Kitsune nodded and pressed a few keys faster than Doubt could have thought possible for a pawed fox. The Map of York was replaced by a replaced by a hologram of a weathered old man in a suit too tight for him, his grey locks covered over his bald patch.

"Exhibit A of the bad combover. This is Pokextinction's Regional head for West Europe, Pascal la tete chauve. We have been tracking his movements for months now and his actions seem to be suggesting the establishment of a base on the Isle of Wight."

More key commands and the aerial view of the Isle of Wight is projected, the tiny holiday resorts peppered all over the isle.

"But that doesn't makes sense," spoke up Agent Havoc," why would Pokextinction establish a base on such crowded island?"

"That is your task gentlemen." explained Agent 001 as he pressed a few keys on his own. The map zoomed in on a particularly forested area of the isle , a holographic circle highlighting a particularly dense area.

"This was where most of the Pokextinction activity has been sighted. I want you to get down there and report what's going on, and come back as quickly as possible to avoid detection, understood?"

Both agents nodded and got up to leave, only to have Agent 001 to push them back down.

"I'm not finished boys. There's one kore thing I need you to do."

Agent Kitsune promptly keyed some more and a blurred image of pascal holding onto a briefcase as he seemed to alight from a ferry.

"Pascal himself is overseeing the establishment, and in that bag is a good amount of Pokextinction documents that would be of great advantage to us. Get those and then return, preferably without getting caught, dying or both. Now you are dismissed."

Both man and Wartortle got up an left for the door, pushing and shoving each other as they did. Agent 001 looked at Agent Kitsune, who sighed and followed them out. Pressing the intercom button, Agent 001 spoke into the mike,

"Get me her Majesty on the line, tell her it's 001."
------------------------------------
"Although we're a specialised division, you still get the standard gear." explained Agent Kitsune as he lead both  Doubt and Havoc into the tech room,
"But since you're dealing with more than the average spy, you'll need a few extras. Q!!!!"

"Coming!!!" replied a slightly creaky, but resolute voice as there was shuffling amongst the gear, a second and third voice seeming to complain about 'too old for this' and 'I like grapes'. From behind a large destructive looking ray gun floated a Magneton, the three ball like heads of the Pokeuman fixated on Agent Kitsune, it's three pairs of horseshoe magnets pointed towards him.

"Ah! Another mission! I see you have a new agent for me. I hope he has a better record of keeping his devices intact than Havoc over here."

The Wartortle growled slightly,

"Watch you're mouth you old bird!"

All three eyes on the Magneton glared at the Wartortle, making the turtle nearly retract into his shell.

"Oh grow up Havoc, I've had it with your adolescent behaviour! What has the service become..."

"Before you pulverise Havoc for loosing the all purpose hair gel, please equip our agents first."

"Of course... I'll get right to it..."

The Magneton floated over to a metallic table and slammed a horseshoe arm onto it. At once, half a dozen Magnemites popped into existence as they buzzed out of their hiding place.

"Standard gear, plus the newest additions NOW!!!"

"YES Q!" they yelled in unison and flew all over the messy lab and returned with the expected standard set of gear.

"As usual, a watch with communicator, video recording and laser beam." he said as he demonstrated, nearly slicing a Magnemite in half.

"Black and silver belt with grappling hook." again, demonstrated and launched the hook straight into the ceiling.

"All purpose pen, including truth serum and grenade function. Click four time to activate the timer, click three to stop."

Again, he clasped the pen in one horseshoe magnet, clicked it four times, and threw it behind him, the nearby Magnemites flying away just as it exploded behind a concrete wall.

"Last and not least, a humanising Ring for Havoc and a standard computer hacking ring for..."

"Doubt, Agent Doubt."

"Doubt it is then..." he said as he hand the ring to him.

"Now if you'll direct your attention here..." he said as he floated towards another table layer out with another set of unassuming items,

"This here is multi-purpose hair gel. Perfectly good for melting up to 6 inches of steel as well as fixing that stray hair strand of yours Doubt."

Immediately, Doubt reached up for his hair and tried to beat down the said hair strand. Offering the gel, the Magneton asked,

"Need some?"

"You can't be serious..."

"I never joke Doubt, that's one thing you should know about me."

Cautiously, Doubt took a small dollop of gel and applied it to his head, thankfully not feeling his head melting from the outside.

"Now watch this."

The Magneton poured the whole bottle of gel onto the table, a sizzling sound was quickly followed by a plop as the rest of the gel fell onto the floor through a hole the said gel had made. Suddenly, Doubt felt that this gel wasn't good for his hair.

"Next, the super sonic whistle. You might want to cover your ears..."

The Magnetone handed the nickel whistle to Doubt, who blew it with some regret as the shock wave that followed nearly took out his ear drums.

"Absolutely brilliant for paralysing the enemy, and buying some time to escape."

"And what's that?" asked Havoc as he took a look at the long steel rod at the end of the table.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!!" Yell Q as he used his magnets to attract the rod to himself,

"That's my lunch..."

Agent Kitsune stifled a laugh as Q lovingly stroked his lunch, Doubt left wondering if all quarter masters were queer.
------------------------------------
"I place my faith in you Agent 001, do you think that they..."

"I have every reason to believe so your majesty, your grandson will be found."

"If this mission is a success, then I'll tell  Cameron to triple the budget funding for this division. We have everything to lose, do not disappoint me."

The image of the Queen disappeared from the screen and Agent 001 was left wiping his brow with a handkerchief.

"And is there a reason why you didn't tell them?"

001 looked up and saw Kitsune waiting at the door. Tucking away his soaked handkerchief, he said,

"I have to make it look like an easy mission, that way they'll be performing at their best without stress. Pressure only makes people fail."

"I hope you're right about this one English, I really do."

"Oh calm down Bough, things will work out for sure."
This was done for :iconspoonerdog123: to try to do a genre out of the normal "clone" fics that have permeated the Pokeumans group. Thus, I give you "On her Majesty's Secret Service" ( U have a inkling that this was a James Bond novel title, so do confirm this so that I can avoid the spy lawyers), a fan fiction that tells the tale of Agent Doubt and Havoc, one human and the other Wartortle( again, for :iconspoonerdog123:) This is just a short story in three parts, the first is up here and the rest will be loaded as soon as I get round to defeating that monster known as homework XD.

As usual, do comment and tell what you think :3
© 2012 - 2024 Ryshard-III
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Halandar's avatar
Even 5 months after, still fresh and interesting. Hope you'll not drop this project ^^